What Steps to Take When Facing a Custody Battle

If you are facing a custody battle here in Austin, TX, it’s important to take the right steps to have the best chance of protecting your family and your relationship with your child. Preparing for a custody battle is a challenging and often emotional process, but it’s important to approach it strategically. A child custody lawyer should always be one of your first calls, and working with a lawyer will allow you to prepare the best possible case.

At the Evans Family Law Group in Austin, TX, and Bastrop, TX, we can tell you that a strategic approach and a skilled child custody lawyer are central to securing a positive outcome for you and, most importantly, your child.

Steps to Take When Facing a Custody Battle in Austin, TX

1. Learn Your Custody Types and Terminology

Custody in common parlance can refer to a number of different things, and it can be confusing to know how it works legally. Legal custody of a child, which in Texas is called “conservatorship,” sets out who has the right to make decisions about a child’s life. The default option in Texas is to assume that parents will share this right, and this is called a joint managing conservatorship (JMC). If there is violence in the family or one parent is absent, then a sole managing conservatorship may be granted.

Who a child lives with is sometimes referred to as physical custody, and in Texas is called “possession and access.” Physical custody may be granted to one parent or shared between parents. Even when a JMC is granted, one parent may have possession of the child or children for more of the time, and under these circumstances is designated the “primary custodial parent.” You should think about what sort of physical and legal custody arrangements you are hoping to achieve and why this is in the best interests of your child.

2. Contact a Child Custody Lawyer

Finding an experienced lawyer is a key part of preparing for a custody battle. In some situations, it might be possible to represent your interests in court, but when it comes to child custody and any sort of disagreement between parents, you need a skilled advocate to fight for you and your child’s best interests. You don’t want to make any mistakes in your case that could jeopardize your relationship with your child, and your lawyer will help to protect you from making any of those mistakes. In addition, a lawyer will be able to explain to you all the legal jargon and the specifics of the Texas Family Code that may come into play in your case.

For example, your attorney will be able to explain to you the two types of “conservatorship”, which is what Texas calls “child custody.” You’ll get a good understanding of the difference between having physical custody and legal custody and what the implications might be for your family, as well as the best strategy moving forward to protect your children and your relationship with them.

When choosing an attorney, it’s important to look for someone with a track record in family law, particularly in custody cases. This will benefit you not only because of their knowledge of the law but also their familiarity with the local family court system and judges, which can help you to prepare a strategic case if mediation fails.

You should stay in regular contact with your attorney and keep them informed of any developments. They will need a complete and up-to-date understanding of your situation to represent you effectively. Don’t hesitate to ask questions or voice concerns, and be transparent with them about any and all details, even if they seem minor.

3. Start Keeping Records

If you haven’t done so already, now is the time to get in the habit of keeping careful records of everything. If you have any communication with the other parent, make sure to keep it, particularly if they are threatening you in any way, manipulating your child, or otherwise engaging in bad behavior. Start keeping a record of all your interactions with your child. If you spend time playing together in the living room, write down what you did, briefly. If you go to a game or if you take them to a movie, make sure to record this.

You also want to have a good understanding of everything that’s happening in your child’s life so that you can demonstrate your fitness as a parent. You’ll want to make sure you’re familiar with all the details of what’s going on in your child’s world. What’s the name of their doctor and dentist? What treatments or checkups have they had recently, and what’s due soon? Who is their favorite teacher, and why? What sports do they enjoy, and who are their best friends at school? If you know these kinds of details, it shows you’re taking an active interest in your child’s life.

Finally, you will want all the records you can gather relative to your own personal life that can show your personal, financial, and familial stability. They might include pay stubs or bank records to show your regular income, testimonials from employers or professors, or anything else that can show that you are best suited to providing a stable and supportive environment for your child.

4. Focus on the Child’s Best Interests

In custody battles, the primary concern for the court is always the best interests of the child. This is a legal standard which takes into account several factors. These include the child’s age, their emotional and physical needs, each parent’s mental and physical health, and the stability each parent can provide.

You can demonstrate your commitment to your child’s best interests by actively prioritizing their well-being. Avoid actions or words that could be seen as prioritizing your desires over your child’s needs. Remember, courts look favorably on parents who support their child’s relationship with the other parent, provided it is safe and appropriate.

5. Be Careful What You Say

Your conduct before and during the custody proceedings will be closely examined, and any signs of aggressive or uncooperative behavior can harm your case. Even if it is difficult, you should do your best to remain calm and avoid confrontational situations with the other parent, as the court may interpret hostile behavior as an inability to co-parent effectively.

You should avoid discussing the case with your child or involving them in adult matters. Custody battles are already stressful for children. Instead, keep conversations with your child neutral and positive, and emphasize that both parents love them and want what’s best for them. Remember, courts do not look with favor towards parents who attempt to sway the child’s opinion or manipulate their feelings toward the other parent.

Now is also the time to start thinking about what you say, both in front of your child and in front of others. From this time until the case is resolved, assume that anything you say will make it back to the court. If you say anything negative about your ex-spouse, assume that someone will attempt to use it against you.

6. Stay off Social Media

It can be tempting to use your Facebook or Instagram account to vent your feelings, but remember, these are not private forums. Posts about your child’s other parent where you portray them negatively may harm your image with the court, and in certain cases may be actionable. Make sure that the things you post on social media are kept positive and light, and if you need to share your feelings, then do it in person with trusted friends.

Be cautious about what you post on social media, as well. You may have all the privacy settings turned on, but social media is never perfectly private. As far as you can, avoid getting into it with the child’s other parent. If they attempt to engage you in an argument or other altercation, be the bigger person.

7. Create a Parenting Plan

A well-thought-out parenting plan shows the court that you have a clear vision for your child’s future and are ready to take on a responsible co-parenting role. A parenting plan includes details about visitation schedules, decision-making, and guidelines for communication between you and the other parent and the child’s communication with each parent when visiting the other.

Presenting a clear, feasible parenting plan, demonstrates your commitment to a stable environment for the child and your willingness to cooperate with the other parent, which the court will likely view positively.

8. Get the Personal Help You Need

Custody battles are very difficult, and since they typically happen in the midst of or immediately after a divorce, there are plenty of personal emotions swirling around. It’s quite common for parents to think that the best thing they can do during this time is focus completely on their child and neglect themselves in the process.

This actually won’t help your child, or your case, as the more exhausted and frustrated you become, the harder it becomes for you to put your best foot forward in all situations. And for you to meet your child’s emotional needs requires that you have some emotional strength left. If you use it all up, you have nothing to give! Be sure to carve out some reasonable self-care time into your schedule, and get the help of a therapist or join a support group as needed.

9. Prepare for a Child Custody Evaluation

It’s very possible that the court will assign someone to take a look at you, your child, and your home environment. To prepare for this, be sure you’ve gathered all the important documents showing that you understand your child’s needs, like their medical records and school reports. If you have letters of support from people who have seen you as a parent, whether from teachers or friends, gather these as well. It also helps to write down your current parenting plan so that the evaluator can see you are organized and responsible. Talk through your daily routine with the child, how you choose to communicate, what discipline strategies you use, etc.

During a home visit, ensure that your living environment is clean, safe, and child-friendly, as this will demonstrate your ability to provide a stable home for the child. The evaluator’s report will carry significant weight in the court’s final decision, so treat the evaluation process seriously.

For the evaluation itself, be honest and provide accurate information. These evaluators are well-trained and can tell when parents are trying to appear as someone they are not. Don’t make negative comments about the other parent. Just talk about your own parenting. Treat the evaluator respectfully, even if you are personally irritated that the evaluation is necessary. They are there to help the court, and this is important.

Above all, stay calm and composed, and listen actively to the questions. respond to them thoughtfully, and avoid arguing with the evaluator. It’s always a good idea to talk to your lawyer prior to this process. Your attorney can help you to prepare and give you some tips on preparing your child. Once the evaluation is over, be sure to have your attorney request a copy of it so that you can go over it and immediately address any inaccuracies.

10. Listen to Your Attorney and Prepare Properly for Court

It matters a great deal how you come across to the court. Your lawyer has extensive experience in the courtroom and is your best resource for understanding how to dress, how to speak, and overall how to present yourself in the best possible light.

Your lawyer will help you understand what is appropriate to say and what you should avoid saying and can coach you specifically on some of the tough questions that the court may ask, so you know what to expect and have thought about how you will answer. Remember that you are trying to make a good impression, so dress and act almost as if you were going to an interview for your dream job.

Be Patient and Prepared for Emotional Challenges

A custody battle is a stressful experience and often involves delays. You’ll need to make court appearances, and there could be some emotionally charged exchanges with the other parent. Stay patient and manage your emotions so you can make rational decisions and avoid actions that could negatively impact your case. Consider working with a counselor or therapist during this time to help manage your stress and provide emotional support.

While custody battles can be emotionally taxing, maintaining a calm and child-focused approach will strengthen your position. Every step you take in preparation will contribute to creating a stable future for your child, which ultimately serves their best interests.

If you’re facing a custody battle, you need an experienced and trustworthy family law attorney in Austin, TX, on your side. Contact us now at the Evans Family Law Group in Austin and Bastrop to request a free consultation.